Archives for category: Uncategorized

IMG_3772

 

It’s been two years. Two years since my father died.

I remember it like it happened just a moment ago. One day my life was on a certain path, and then it suddenly came to a screeching halt.

To be honest, a part of me has been stuck in 2012. It’s my own fault. I’ve made myself incapable of moving on.

What can I say? I’m a masochist.

It’s not the actual loss of my father that has caused my suffering. Thankfully, that part has gotten easier to accept. It’s the thought of what’s coming that continues to devastate me, and what he won’t be there for.

He won’t be there for anything, at least not physically. He wasn’t there to watch me graduate from college. He won’t walk my sister and I down the aisle. (Granted, I probably won’t have a wedding. I’m not that type of girl.) He won’t get to meet his grandchildren.

I know he’ll be present — even if it’s just his spirit — but I still want him to be there. I want to see his big smile. I want to hear him crack another joke. I want to see that creepy mustache again.

I’ve harbored an intense hatred towards fate these past two years. Life’s just not fair. At all. I can’t change what’s happened and I can’t change what’s going to happen, but those realizations haven’t helped ease any of my anger and grief.

The one thought that petrifies me most is that I’m going to forget him.

You start to notice the importance of memories when you lose someone you love, but it hits you even harder when you didn’t have the chance to grow up. Start your own life. Find out who you really are.

The first and only thing that pops into my head when I think of him is silly, but it’s important. “Da Way Way,” he would say to me every time he saw me.

“Way Way” was his nickname for me. I have no idea where he got it from, but it managed to stick. I can remember him saying it clear as day. His voice always a little playful, but always earnest.

My life has changed immensely over the past two years. I’ve graduated, gotten a job and I’m now living in New York City. I’d be lying if I said the move has been easy. It’s been hard. Extremely hard.

I’ve had many mini-breakdowns. I’ve cried on the phone to my mom countless times. New York doesn’t hold back. This city can be terrifyingly lonely. But I’ve discovered another side to my resilience that I had no idea that I had.

My mom found the birthday card he gave me for my 20th birthday, just a little over two months before his death. In the card, he wrote, “You will always be my star.”

Dad, I’m going to make you proud.

I’ll never move on. But I will move forward.

 

Advertisements

miles TheSpectacularNow

I developed a crush on “The Spectacular Now” when I first saw the trailer back in June. I’m a sucker for teen dramas. I found out it was a book and read the whole thing over Fourth of July weekend during my first excursion to a New York’s Jones Beach. Then, I started looking into the cast. I’d already fallen in love with Shailene Woodley in “The Descendants” and the fact she would play Hazel Grace in “The Fault In Our Stars” movie. I’d only seen Miles Teller in those crazy party movies like “Project X” and “21 and Over,” but I knew he could handle a dramatic role after watching him in “Rabbit Hole.” Over the course of the summer, this movie just consumed me. I got to see it before it was released in theaters and tracked down an iTunes event in SoHo that featured Miles Teller and the director, James Ponsoldt. Even after all the movies I’ve seen this year, it’s still one of the best. And this has been a great year for film. I pre-ordered the Blu-ray back in December and it was delivered yesterday. I can’t wait to watch it again this weekend. Everyone should take the time to see this perfect little film. If you need any further convincing, here’s my review of the movie I wrote for my feature writing class last semester. Enjoy!

———————————————————————————–

Sutter Keely (Miles Teller), the endearing party boy, and Aimee Finicky (Shailene Woodley), an ordinary, modest student Sutter could have lived his entire life without noticing, are magnetically pulled together in James Ponsoldt’s film adaptation of Tim Tharp’s novel “The Spectacular Now.”

After Aimee discovers Sutter unconscious on the lawn of a stranger’s house during her morning paper route, she’s understandably confused. What is one of the most popular guys in school doing passed out on someone’s front lawn? Meanwhile, Sutter is reeling from an all-night drinking binge after being dumped by his girlfriend, Cassidy (Brie Larson).

Aimee asks him, “Do you live around here Sutter?” to which he replies, “How do you know my name?”

“We go to the same school,” Aimee answers. “You wouldn’t know who I am.”

From then on, Sutter is determined to bring due notice to the selfless introvert. Even though people might consider Aimee a wallflower, Sutter is drawn to her. Unlike most of the superficial women in his life, Aimee genuinely listens to him and falls for the flawed soul behind the boy-next-door façade.

Sutter is that guy: the life of the party, the high school senior with the sexy girlfriend and a decent job. It seems Sutter has it all together, yet a dark angst is hiding behind the glazed eyes of everyone’s favorite party boy. He’s debating on whether to even pursue college; he’s avoiding his mom’s (Jennifer Jason Leigh) pleas for him to get it together and stop acting like his father; and he’s dealing with the effects of the absent father (Kyle Chandler) he has fictitiously portrayed as a huge success to everyone around him.

But Sutter doesn’t stress about such trivialities. He wants to live today like it’s his last. Carpe diem.

Sutter is so hyper-focused on living in the now that he refuses to face his own future. He drinks from his whiskey-filled 7-11 cup to numb the pain of now. He has all his emotions filled to the brim in that oversized plastic cup.

The chemistry between Teller and Woodley is undeniably charged and a little unrefined, but all in the natural course of coming of age love. Despite his many flaws and the bad influence he sometimes has on Aimee, you find yourself rooting for the couple. From their unexpected first kiss to their final prom dance, Aimee and Sutter’s relationship is perfectly portrayed and not absorbed in unnecessary teenage melodrama. It’s simple. Sweet. Real.

As the relationship travels the ups and downs of senior year, we’re drawn to the unexpected turns life has in store for the unseasoned 18-year olds. In the path toward fading adolescence, Sutter deals with the repercussions of coasting through school. Sutter also confronts his father and realizes why his mother and sister (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) went to such lengths to keep the two distanced from one another. Meanwhile, Aimee steps out from under everyone’s control toward a bigger and brighter tomorrow.

The performances in this indie hit, which won a special jury prize at the Sundance Film Festival for acting, are contemporary and raw in what is clearly one of the best films of the year. Teller, who most frequently plays comedic roles, opens himself up like a fresh wound to play the charmingly damaged Sutter. Woodley is familiar with dramatic roles from her critically acclaimed role in 2011’s “The Descendants, and this performance is no exception. She is so effortless, so natural, and so perfectly imperfect as Aimee.

Even though Sutter is few drinks away from becoming a raging alcoholic, “The Spectacular Now” never becomes an educational lesson in teenage drinking. Sutter is just so likeable, as damaged as he is, that you almost forget his flaws. He may not have his life mapped out, but you’ll never forget Sutter Keely.

If you’re the type to live in the now, that’s where you’ll find Sutter. You either live in the moment or look forward to the many moments to come. Either way, “The Spectacular Now” is a cinematic moment you’ll never want to recover from.

averyIt was the single most difficult decision I’d had to make: Accepting an internship in New York City for the summer. That doesn’t seem like a hard decision in retrospect, but at the time, it was.

The year before had been less than forgiving to me. My dad died in September. For the rest of the year, I was walking on uneven emotional terrain. I questioned what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I pulled away from friends. Denounced the “live it up” college lifestyle. People are so reckless with their lives. It was sickening to me. I was probably depressed, but I felt like I was entitled to be. I focused on nothing but an impending career. All I wanted to do was escape.

With the new year, I took a leap of faith and applied for internships in New York City. It had always been my dream to live there. Find myself. However, due to my natural cynicism, I felt like I wasn’t qualified enough. When I didn’t hear back immediately, I started applying for some in my hometown. I accepted a radio internship in Charlotte and became content with spending the summer with family. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. The pain I’d experienced in the past year had numbed me. I found it hard to have hope.

Then, I got a call. A website specializing in entertainment reporting, HollywoodLife.com, called me up and asked for an interview. A week later, they offered me an internship. I immediately retracted my radio internship and accepted.

It was like a light clicked back on inside me. After a year of nothing but suffering, I was finally happy about something. Yet, I was scared. What if wasn’t good enough? Also, I’d never stayed outside North Carolina longer than a week. I’ve watched one too many “Law and Order: SVU’s” and my mom always reminds me that the world is not a nice place.

I was now at a crossroads of emotions. I was excited about all the possibilities ahead of me. But I was also sad about leaving my family behind. What if something happened to me? What if something happened to mom, Katy or Will and I couldn’t get back immediately? I’m irrationally paranoid, but we lost dad so unexpectedly, it’s hard not to be.

When the departure date drew nearer, I became nervous. It all hit me as my mom drove me from my home to Charlotte Douglas Airport. I cried. A lot. First, it was bratty tears because I had to leave clothes I thought I needed behind. Then, when my mom left me in the security line I just started ugly crying. My mom is my best friend. Like peas and carrots, she says. We’re incredibly close and were even closer after this year. I didn’t want to leave her.

But I knew that if I didn’t go now, I’d never go.

The summer in New York City healed me. I worked red carpets. I attended movie premieres. Talked to celebrities I’d only ever dreamed of talking to. I wrote about the movies and television shows that I’d only wrote for myself in a blog. Everything I could possibly want actually happened.

I finally found people who saw me. The HollywoodLife office became the only place I wanted to be. When I became Andy’s, the entertainment director’s first intern, and cemented myself a place right next to him and Eleanore, a fellow entertainment reporter with an extra Irish spunk, I was elated. Emily, an editorial assistant at the time, became one of my best friends complete with “The O.C.” marathons and a mutual love for Richard Gere.

They understood my passion and they mentored me. Andy, Emily, and Eleanore…they became the older siblings I never had. I was able to find my niche and cultivate it over three months. I am indebted to them for guiding me.

Leaving was like ripping stitches. Just like when I left North Carolina, I sobbed in the airport. Yet, I came to one realization: Those stitches can be sewn back and the next time, they’ll be completely healed.

I’ve put my life back together and I’m ready for what lies ahead. I’m no longer a battleground of emotions. I’ve repaired myself and experienced living in a way I didn’t know was possible.

I no longer question my destiny. I know exactly what I want. North Carolina is my past. New York is my future.

As I returned home, my mom was there waiting. She held my hand so tightly as she drove from the airport. She told me how proud she was of me. She said I am fulfilling my dream, one she always wanted for herself. No one deserved it more than me, she said.

My senior year has been about nothing but finding a way to get back to New York. It’s my future. It’s where I belong. I will find a way back. New York just keeps calling me home.

 

 

 photo tumblr_inline_mi9k6deSxX1qz4rgp_zps3e59ddc2.gif

That’s me and karma right there guys. BOOM.

Of all the things I believe in most, karma takes the top. She is always there, always lurking, waiting to strike. I don’t understand people who don’t realize karma is out there. It’s the simplest concept I know of. If you do something good, something good will happen to you. If you do something bad, yeah you know where I’m going. Whatever you do comes back to you, always.

I think the confusion comes from people who don’t know the difference between good and bad decisions. When they think they’ve done something good, something bad ends up happening to them and they can’t comprehend why. I think the ultimate point karma tries to prove is that it’s not just about good and bad decisions but it’s about knowing the difference between right and wrong and acting on that. A lot of the times, it’s the people who believe they are good people yet make the wrong decisions. Those are the ones who need karma the most. Sometimes advocating for the truth feels wrong but it’s actually right.

Needless to say, karma is a bitch. She doesn’t let anyone get past her. Trust me, it’s a love/hate relationship between the two of us but it’s the healthiest relationship. I respect her. I need her. Karma makes me a better person and if you allow her to make you one, she will. Tough love is the best type of love.  She teaches me the reality of life: it isn’t fair. It never is. I’ve learned that 100% this year.

She is God’s beautiful mistress. Always a reminder of what you’ve done.  What goes around comes around. She’ll catch up to you eventually.

And as my mom always says, when karma happens,

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET.

BAM.

My name is Avery Thompson and I approve this message.

Image

In honor of the Oscars in little less than a week, I thought I would do something that shows off my love for film. In all honesty, I am way too emotionally-involved in the Oscars this year (i.e. Jennifer Lawrence) and I feel like I’m entitled to voice my opinion. So I’m going to rank the Best Picture nominees (of the ones I’ve seen) in order of my preference. Here we go…

 

#5 Lincoln

I know what you’re saying: “You’re a Communist.” How could this not be higher up on the list?! Trust me, I desperately wanted it to be. I had such high hopes for this film and it was truly great but it wasn’t amazing. The performance Daniel Day-Lewis gave as Abraham Lincoln was nothing short of remarkable. Sally Field is always a force to be reckoned with and gives a commanding performance. Tommy Lee-Jones was great and it even had Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who I’ve seen in person BTW). It wasn’t the ensemble cast I had a problem with because they were outstanding. I was just expecting MORE.

There was a lot of talking, not enough action. I wanted to see more of the tragedy of the Civil War, I wanted to see him deliver his Gettysburg Address…I wanted less politics. I understand what Spielberg was doing and he succeeded but this film just didn’t emotionally move me. We all know Daniel is taking home the Oscar. He is just amazing. Possibly the best actor of our time (Sean Penn is close in the race though). So, judge me all you want. It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to. 

 
P.S. Any movie that has Thob (my mother) literally snoring has some issues they need to take care of. She respects the art of filmmaking almost as much as I do. 
Peace out. 

10. THE CARRIE DIARIES

I really, really love this show. It’s great for people who were massive Gossip Girl fans like myself. Anna Sophia-Robb plays the young Carrie Bradshaw with just the right amount of angst and innocence. I legitimately feel like I’m in a John Hughes film and that’s not a bad thing whatsoever. Oh, and Austin Butler, who plays Sebastian Kidd, is just perfect. He is a more brooding Chord Overstreet. I really hope this show gets picked up for another season. It’s perfect for the younger CW demographic.

9. JLAW DOES PIERS MORGAN

 photo tumblr_mhjhs2nI9c1qbnazvo4_250_zps9e33638b.gif

WHY DOES SHE AMAZE ME SO MUCH? It’s because, to me at least, she is the most real. She may be rude and foul-mouthed but that is something I can relate to. She doesn’t try to be someone she’s not. She’s just Jennifer Lawrence and at her core is still a southern Kentucky girl. She was doing back-to-back press from Jimmy Kimmel to Piers Morgan last night. Here is just a little bit from her absolutely awesome interview:

SEE WHAT I MEAN? PERFECTION.

8. COLD WAR REVISITED

fx_americans_keyart_p_2012

The Keri Russell-Matthew Rhys show The Americans premiered this week. The commercials were convincing enough to make me watch it. Plus, I think Matthew Rhys is SO ATTRACTIVE. The premiere didn’t WOW me but I really do see potential here. I think it will be a slow-building show and then it will explode with lots of drama and suspense. I mean seriously, you can’t get more tension than a 1980s United States v. USSR drama.  I can see this being awards show gold for FX. The performances are nothing short of flawless. Russell and Rhys are better than they have EVER been before and their chemistry, WOW.

7. SERIOUSLY, MELLIE?

First off, FINALLY. I feel like Mellie had been preggers for eons. However, inducing your pregnancy just so you can keep your claws into the president so he won’t run away with the love of his life is low. Mellie is ruthless. Poor Olivia.

6. RIP KOL

 photo tumblr_mhjkbcojAd1rjpseko1_250_zps90535b24.gif photo tumblr_mhjkbcojAd1rjpseko4_250_zpsbf802195.gif

The youngest of the originals that we’ve seen finally bit the dust last night. It was actually Elena’s plan to kill Kol (I’m somewhat impressed) so that Jeremy could complete his tattoo mark to the cure. Elena and Kol shared a few nice moments. She asked about Silas. He pretty much said he is BAD NEWS, LIKE REALLY BAD NEWS but does that stop Elena, NO. Elena and Jeremy go all Team Gilbert and fight with him throughout their house. Surprisingly, Team Gilbert wins. However, as soon as Kol is finished becoming a s’more, Klaus is at the door and he is not a happy camper. You can even see tears in his eyes. Bravo, Joseph Morgan, for exhibiting such vulnerability in just one look. He is super pissed and he said that his plan all along has been to find the cure and destroy it. YEAH! He is out for blood, Gilbert blood that is, but Bonnie comes in and traps him in this weird spell she does. Rest in peace Kol, your accent was great.  Now, hopefully, we can be graced with Elijah’s presence.

5. MEN OF MCKINLEY CALENDAR

 photo tumblr_mhiy11AKXT1rkr8qco1_1280_zps307e6f12.jpg

     Real question: Where can I buy one of these? Last night’s Glee episode titled “Naked” was one of the best yet. And no, it’s not just because Chord Overstreet and Blake Jenner were shirtless. But that helped A LOT. Glee is finally getting its groove back. I honestly don’t care at all about the Rachel/Kurt in New York thing. The focus should be on the kids of McKinley. The New Directions get to go to regionals since Sam exposed the Warblers’ steroid use. YAY. So to raise money, Tina decided to do a Men of McKinley calendar. GENIUS, TINA. SNAPS FOR YOU. It was flawless just like their rock-hard bods. I was practically drooling the entire episode.

4. I’M A FOLLOWER

 photo tumblr_mh0o3qhsu91qhen3to1_250_zps14e23e9f.gif

Kevin Williamson has done it again! It all started with Dawson’s Creek, then The Vampire Diaries, and now Fox’s The Following. He is returning back to his horror/suspense (everyone remembers Scream right?) roots with this deliciously dramatic show. Kevin Bacon stars as Kevin Bacon and he is perfect as usual. He plays former FBI agent Ryan Hardy who is forced back into the business when the serial killer he helped catch years ago now has a following who will do anything and everything at his bidding. James Purefoy plays the serial killer, Joe Carroll, a former English teacher who was inspired to kill through the works of Edgar Allan Poe. I can’t get enough of this show. I never know what to expect. The dynamic between Bacon’s character and Purefoy’s character is ELECTRIFYING. Dear Kevin Williamson, I am a fellow North Carolinian PLEASE teach me your ways!

Oh, and this guy is cute too. I’d follow him anywhere.

 photo tumblr_mhia0lvrCS1qjpxbbo1_500_zps15afcab9.gif

3. JUST ANOTHER FUN AWARDS SHOW BEFORE THE OSCARS

Award show season is the best time of the year. It’s like every week I get a dose of my favorite celebrities in amazing gowns and I anxiously await the winner’s acceptance speeches. Not going to lie, I’m rooting for Jennifer Lawrence in Best Actress. But then again, I would root for her in every category. After her awesome acceptance speech at the Golden Globes and her “I Beat Meryl” moment, how would she amaze me next? Well, she shows up at the SAG Awards even though she has pneumonia. This chick is a true badass. Then, when she wins again she has a dress malfunction AND she gives a shout-out to Bradley Cooper. I’m in heaven. Their chemistry is so amazing that I wish they would star in EVERY movie together.  Jennifer Lawrence can do no wrong in my book. I have a healthy obsession with her I swear.

 photo tumblr_mhgndwiDDH1qful3do4_250_zps9a506e57.gif

2. NICK AND JESS LOCK LIPS

NewGirl-Ep215_cooler_Sc39_0675

It was the kiss seen around the world on Tuesday night. I kind of anticipated the kiss itself coming (I’m a spoiler freak) but I totally didn’t see it coming when it actually happened. IT WAS PERFECT. After pretty much everyone was trying to force them to kiss, Nick finally admitted he didn’t want it to happen “like this.” SWOON. After that, I thought the episode was over and they were going to keep the tension at an all-time high. WRONG. At the very end, as Nick and Jess were saying goodnight, Nick pulls her into a passionate, crazy awesome kiss. All he says afterwards, “I meant something like that.” BAM. Her face at the end looked exactly like my face. I was stunned and I wanted more. GIVE ME MORE.

1. LIFE NOW SUCKS BECAUSE I AM TINA FEY-LESS

tumblr_mhi73sPPkw1qejocno1_500

I can barely hold myself together. One of the greatest and most hilarious comedies in television history, 30 Rock, came to an end last night. The winner of five Golden Globes and fourteen Primetime Emmys gave us Tina Fey on a weekly basis and made us like Alec Baldwin again. I’m pretty certain that I am Liz Lemon in another life. I guess the only way I can get over this devastation is by eating the 30 Rock-inspired Ben and Jerry’s flavor: Liz Lemon Greek Yogurt. OKAY. At least I can look forward to that new movie she has coming out with Paul Rudd (swoon).

I WORSHIP AT THE FEET OF TINA FEY.

Till next week all!

xoxo,

Avery

So, the semester comes to an end. FINALLY. Basically the two weeks before finals and the two weeks of finals are a preview of what hell feels like. I like to compare it to the film The Dark Knight where the student (for example, myself) is Batman and finals are the Joker. Finals mess with your head, break you down…basically

Photobucket

And like when you walk into your exam it’s like in the movie when Batman says: “You wanted me. Here I am.” But in the end, in my case, good always trumps evil. I always end up bringing my grade up or keeping it at a solid B+ however I can’t say the same for everyone here at Carolina concerning their grades. Carolina is a BEAR.

This semester has truly been the toughest of my life. At the beginning, I was excited at having two jobs and becoming fully immersed in the J-school. I had it all planned out. However, life has a vicious way of reminding you of how precious it is and not to take it for granted. As you all know, I lost my Dad on September 15th. It’s funny how one minute your life is taking one course and the next minute you’re lost and have no idea where to turn.

On September 14th, at around midnight, I was getting ready to go to bed. I was so excited that I was actually going to get in bed before one. I had watched The Vampire Diaries. I was a happy camper. Then, my life just stopped and within a matter of hours I was in the Northeast Medical Center ICU. And 24 hours after that, my Dad was gone.

I came back to school after a week off. Even one of my professors asked me “How are you back so soon?” Truthfully, I could have taken a semester off or dropped a class but I couldn’t let myself do any of that. I did dial back on some things but only because I didn’t want to get overwhelmed (which Carolina has the tendency to do). I realized that I couldn’t let grief control my life because what good will it do? NOTHING. I have been wounded but I will heal…eventually.

The next few months brought other major changes in my life. I decided I no longer wanted to be in the Electronic Communication field of journalism. I just don’t eat, sleep, and breathe news. I also CANNOT stand how biased all the news stations are. Left-leaning, right-leaning, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

mckayla-maroney-meme-getty

To be honest, I’ve always shied away from writing. All you A.L. Browners are like WHAT? This girl is the spawn of Thob, how can she not like writing? I always thought I was good but not great. I only like to write about things I like to write about. I do love to write about films, television, and all things entertainment. I realized that I want to be an entertainment reporter. I can’t believe after all these years of obsessively stalking E! Online, Entertainment Weekly, and Zap2it that I just now noticed it. Now, to all of you guys, that may seem like, really stupid.

Photobucket

However, I really don’t care. I’m passionate about it and it’s a career that I can still keep my humor and bitchiness in tact. So yeah, when you catch me at the Golden Globes or on the set of your favorite show then come talk to me about how stupid it is. BAM.

Photobucket

This semester has made me realize, now more than ever, that I cannot turn my back on my career. I must keep pushing and fighting for what I want. I have to live life to the fullest. For me…and my Dad. Living in New York or Los Angeles, VIP status to awards shows and Comic-Con, maybe dabbling in my own creative writing…my Dad wouldn’t expect anything less from me.

And yeah, when I get my dream job:
First, I’ll be a raving lunatic.

Photobucket

Then, epic fist pumps.

Photobucket

In honor of Gossip Girl’s series finale on Monday…

XOXO,

Avery