So, the semester comes to an end. FINALLY. Basically the two weeks before finals and the two weeks of finals are a preview of what hell feels like. I like to compare it to the film The Dark Knight where the student (for example, myself) is Batman and finals are the Joker. Finals mess with your head, break you down…basically
And like when you walk into your exam it’s like in the movie when Batman says: “You wanted me. Here I am.” But in the end, in my case, good always trumps evil. I always end up bringing my grade up or keeping it at a solid B+ however I can’t say the same for everyone here at Carolina concerning their grades. Carolina is a BEAR.
This semester has truly been the toughest of my life. At the beginning, I was excited at having two jobs and becoming fully immersed in the J-school. I had it all planned out. However, life has a vicious way of reminding you of how precious it is and not to take it for granted. As you all know, I lost my Dad on September 15th. It’s funny how one minute your life is taking one course and the next minute you’re lost and have no idea where to turn.
On September 14th, at around midnight, I was getting ready to go to bed. I was so excited that I was actually going to get in bed before one. I had watched The Vampire Diaries. I was a happy camper. Then, my life just stopped and within a matter of hours I was in the Northeast Medical Center ICU. And 24 hours after that, my Dad was gone.
I came back to school after a week off. Even one of my professors asked me “How are you back so soon?” Truthfully, I could have taken a semester off or dropped a class but I couldn’t let myself do any of that. I did dial back on some things but only because I didn’t want to get overwhelmed (which Carolina has the tendency to do). I realized that I couldn’t let grief control my life because what good will it do? NOTHING. I have been wounded but I will heal…eventually.
The next few months brought other major changes in my life. I decided I no longer wanted to be in the Electronic Communication field of journalism. I just don’t eat, sleep, and breathe news. I also CANNOT stand how biased all the news stations are. Left-leaning, right-leaning, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
To be honest, I’ve always shied away from writing. All you A.L. Browners are like WHAT? This girl is the spawn of Thob, how can she not like writing? I always thought I was good but not great. I only like to write about things I like to write about. I do love to write about films, television, and all things entertainment. I realized that I want to be an entertainment reporter. I can’t believe after all these years of obsessively stalking E! Online, Entertainment Weekly, and Zap2it that I just now noticed it. Now, to all of you guys, that may seem like, really stupid.
However, I really don’t care. I’m passionate about it and it’s a career that I can still keep my humor and bitchiness in tact. So yeah, when you catch me at the Golden Globes or on the set of your favorite show then come talk to me about how stupid it is. BAM.
This semester has made me realize, now more than ever, that I cannot turn my back on my career. I must keep pushing and fighting for what I want. I have to live life to the fullest. For me…and my Dad. Living in New York or Los Angeles, VIP status to awards shows and Comic-Con, maybe dabbling in my own creative writing…my Dad wouldn’t expect anything less from me.
And yeah, when I get my dream job:
First, I’ll be a raving lunatic.
Then, epic fist pumps.
In honor of Gossip Girl’s series finale on Monday…